As world economies begin to crumble, the amount of available jobs will start to dwindle. Since everybody loves fruit, the obvious career switch will be to become a fruit vendor. However, no one trusts fruit vendors without an accent, leading everyone to feign likeness and accent of a foreign culture. With the sudden increase in fruit vendors and the original vendors taking great offense to the new 'fakers', this will lead to massive inter-cultural food fights, decimating the already small amount of fruit. With the world's supply of fruit gone, citizens will die out due to the missing nutrients they no longer receive. This trend will soon spread to vegetables vendors, magazine vendors, cigarette vendors, arcade games, and Coinstar machines.
As a firm supporter and member of the International Union of Foreign Fruit Vendors, I've been pushing for legislation banning the selling of fruit without validation of a legitimate foreign accent. We need to protect our produce.
ReplyDeleteWho are you decide what constitutes a legitimate foreign accent? I resent it.
ReplyDeleteNot me, I rely on the Expert's Guides to Foreign Languages written by non other than Arthur P. Stigwhistle....the renowned language expert. But even if it is racism, I don't mind if it will save the world from a horrible end due to Flash Foreign Fruit Vendors. We have to think of the greater good here. Like that time you had to eat the corpse of your dead friend - you just had to do it to survive. And so we must strive forward in these troubling times. FYI, Apocalypse BBQ in my Earth Core bunker next week. You wanna come? There will be free Lion meat burgers.
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