Can you complete this worksheet? If not, please read on. For years, scientists have been perplexed by the sudden onset of "Ootball-ification." A state in which the afflicted subject, henceforth referred to as the "Ootballed," is overcome with the extreme need to skip the first letter of every word spoken or written. Information is scarce, but doctors believe the disease is contracted by wearing sweatshirts with the word "OOTBALL" written in faded green letters. Again, many things are still unknown about Ootballity, and anyone with any information on the subject should step forward right away.
As the Ootballed toll begins to rise, experts fear a large scale outbreak and have started taken measures to reduce casualties. Sure signs that your neighbors/co-workers/friends are carriers, are headaches, nausea, and utter confusion after the word "itch" is muttered at seemingly angry situations/people. Scientists have released a list of known cures, which include: hypnotism, mind control, a giant slap to the face, squirrel vomit taken orally, and in rare cases, decapitation.
